The Rules Of Attraction

I wish I knew what the ones applicable to me are; I think my knowing them might make life a little easier, and bring my non-existent love life into existence - among other things.

Maybe I'm being too optimistic here. Maybe there aren't rules that I could adhere to that might pave and smoothen the path to love; maybe having such rules will only undermine any effort directed at finding love.

Maybe I should just think about making the effort to push myself out of inertia first - everything else and their third grandaunt can get in the damn line, sister.

No, wait - I've just realized there is a rule applicable to me; just one single utterly fucked up rule:

The Rules of Attraction

1. Female or male, non-heterosexual or heterosexual, old or young, dead or alive - it doesn't matter:

as long as you C A N ' T have them.

Yeah.

That sounds about right to me.

In my reading of the book of love, I'm always getting garden-pathed; in fact, I've garden-pathed so hopelessly that I'm not only out of the goddamn garden and woods, I'm at the very edge of a crumbling precipice, only half a fucking step away from finding myself floundering in a bottomless pool of quicksand.



Huh.

Ain't that just sweet, eh?