Duck/Rabbit

The lamb may lie down with the lion,
But they will never be as close as this pair
Who share the very lines
Of their existence, whose overlapping is their
   raison d’être.
How strange and symbiotic the binds
That make one disappear
Whenever the other is spied.
Throw the duck a stare,
And the rabbit hops down his hole.
Give the rabbit the eye,
And the duck waddles off the folio.
Say, these could be our mascots, you and I –
         I could look at you forever
         And never see the two of us together.


Billy Collins, in Picnic, Lightning (1998)

:::

If I think about it, my life seems to be filled with ducks, and only ducks - or at least I think they are ducks - ducks that will never be wedded to my silly, stupid rabbit; the pairing is just too incongruous - unlike a non-union like a droplet of water on a lotus leaf (to borrow an analogy from Lagaan in reference to Radha and Krishna): never merging, yet belonging together.

What if I were a duck; what if I just think I'm a rabbit in a world of ducks? I could be the duck that dreamt that it were a rabbit, or the rabbit that dreamt that it were a duck, and, having awakened, could no longer tell if it were a duck that had just dreamt about being a rabbit, or if it were a rabbit that had just dreamt about being a duck.

A few nights ago I dreamt I was driving a car, and in the dream I didn't know how to drive (as in reality). I had both feet on the pedals, but I didn't know which one was the brake. All that I knew was that the car engine was running and whether or not I knew how to drive, I had to drive the damn car - or at least steer it. Because the engine was running and I didn't know where the brake was, I had to pull out from being parallel-parked and into on-going traffic, or I'd run the risk of crashing into the car parked in front of me. So without even signaling (I didn't know where the signal buttons or switches were), I pulled into the traffic, just a breath away from being rear-ended.

I checked up an online dream dictionary and it read: "To dream that you are driving a vehicle, signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life."

Damn it if that doesn't make a lot of sense. So, if I'm interpreting my dream right - and I'm pretty sure I am - I'm not only navigating through life without knowing how to, I don't know where the signals or brakes are either.

To say this doesn't exactly bring a whole lot of confidence or comfort would be making the understatement of the millenium.






... You poor, poor bastard. You do realize what all these make you, right?

That's right - a silly creature with identity and existential issues and who neither knows how to drive, nor where the bloody signals and brakes are.



(Can you say buggered?)