Someone

i like Someone
who likes someone else
who likes someone else
who likes yet someone else
who likes yet another someone else
who likes yet still another someone else …

eventually, i’m sure,
this daisy-chain of unreciprocated affection,
of liking someone,
will come back to me -
somewhere out there is a
someone
who likes someone
who likes someone else
who likes yet someone else
who likes me
who like Someone else

wouldn’t it be nice though
if i could do away with
all those someones else
    in between
so that i could finally
like someone
who likes
me?



6^th April 2005

Sometimes, you wonder if it's just you, or if it's just life.

The latter option, at the most, prompts you to murmur resignedly, sometimes even cheerfully: c'est la vie (and here you nonchalantly shrug) - tant pis; but the former will only make you train doubly hard at yoga and pilates (or, alternatively, join a Chinese acrobatic troupe) in the hopes of becoming flexible enough one day to kick yourself in the ass.

Obviously, you'd pick the latter alternative.

You'd chosen it because it offers you - desperate as you are - the dim (if completely illusory) hope that you aren't royally fucking yourself by your frequently demonstrated reflexive response of treating whomever you know likes you like something that wriggled out of an open, festering wound, and/or avoiding them like a multi-level marketer.

It would also allow you to circumvent the issue of an unhealthy self-esteem which, by the way, is the little voice that would inevitably come up with profound insights from a brilliant line of reasoning, such as: "How can [insert poor sod's name] like me?! I'm [insert list of negative character attributes] - plus, I'm [insert list of unattractive physical attributes]! (pause and cogitate) Aha! I knew it - there must be something wrong with [insert poor sod's name]."

And, you know, it doesn't help the situation that you connect more intimately with inanimate objects (any double entendres you read, you have only your corrupt mind to thank, yo) than animate ones, namely those of your species, I mean.

Jesus, and you want to "finally" like Someone who likes you?

I've got just one word for you, sister:



Sisyphus.