Just For The Record
… going to bed with a mostly full stomach that is digesting a lot of cheese is a really bad idea; writing something about porn before bed-time is prolly a bad idea too. Because I had the most bizarre dream last night which featured two of the most talked-about topics in life: sex and death.
So there I was, making out with this girl, and the next thing I realized was being the center of attention in an orgy. Well, actually, it wasn’t strictly an orgy; it was more like … I’m tempted to use circle-jerk, but that sort of gives the impression that the poor girl and I had been the biscuit (or cookie, or whatever is used in different cultural versions of the Biscuit Game) that was being jerked off on - hell, no. (Eww …)
Needless to say, this dream had all the sexiness and eroticism of a three-day old used tampon.
Anyway, as soon as I became aware of the guys that surrounded us, I stopped the hanky-panky, and looked all around me in amazement. That was when I (mistakenly) thought I was in an orgy. It might’ve been orgiastic, but it wasn’t an orgy. (Then again, what do I know – I’ve never been invited to any.)
The particularly salient and gross part of the dream had been this guy who was intently wanking onto a sausage and then eating the sausage with the sauce that is particularly high in protein. It was a wonder I didn’t wake up there and then to regurgitate what was left of my cheesy dinner.
Then the girl I was with was being pursued by a murderous female wielding a malicious-looking knife. Fortunately for the girl, her pursuer was killed by a lawn-mower just as the knife was a breath away from getting intimate with her (the girl’s) innards.
The death-by-lawn-mower was a little disturbing. The lawn-mower had caught the female by her toes, and then rather rapidly drained the blood from her body. One moment, she was in a healthy tone, the next, she was white; finally, she was so emptied of blood she looked green.
Hoo boy. Freud’s gonna have a field day with this dream …
:::
… I’m not into BDSM. Nu-uh. I’m not at all turned on by it. Hell, no.
(Okay, so maybe there was this one time seeing Tadanobu Asano chained up, with a bare torso, and blissfully getting the shit beaten out of him by Alien – a.k.a. Paulyn – Sun in Koroshiya 1 which made me wish I were been the one beating the shit out of him … but that was it.)
In fact, seeing naked people trussed up like rice dumplings is perturbing to me - so is the Gimp in Pulp Fiction. The most disturbing of all is to see somebody all decked out in bondage accoutrements and wearing the headgear thingy that reveals only the eyes (I don’t know what it’s called, but I’ve always thought it looks like an executioner's mask).
[Confidential to Junoesque: thanks for the awesome link! Those shots are mind-blowing!]
:::
… I’m a quiescent, shy and reserved girl who errs on the prudish side. Really.
I found the wet-shirt and wet-sari bit in ‘Suraj Hua Maddham’ uncomfortable to watch.
I flinched and squirmed like the most sensitive of vampires in direct sunlight when Adrian Pang kissed Madeline Tan at the end of Forever Fever.
I believe parents don’t have sex. Really.
:::
… I don’t particularly like watching porn, but I think it’s fun watching it with people. One of the best experiences I have was watching Madam and Eve (which claimed to be “made for lesbians by lesbians”) during Out Takes 2004.
It was sort of strange, but Jen and I made it a semi ‘special’ night and treated ourselves to a three-course dinner at Stellar’s before the movie. She kept calling it a ‘date’ (and even wore make-up), but I don’t think anybody would ever call going to the theater to watch porn a date. (People who would consider bringing their dates to a porn flick should be avoided like herpes.)
Madam and Eve was hilarious, and the audience was a great bunch of people. There was this particularly long (and I mean looooong) scene that involved cunnilingus, and the chick on the receiving end must’ve been moaning like forever. When she finally climaxed (and you can tell that because the moaning escalated into a sort of pained shriek, like a chicken at slaughter), the audience erupted with applause and catcalls. Totally wild.
Great fun, great experience.
But, um, just for the record, I’m a prude who’s not into BDSM, and who doesn’t particularly like watching porn.
So there I was, making out with this girl, and the next thing I realized was being the center of attention in an orgy. Well, actually, it wasn’t strictly an orgy; it was more like … I’m tempted to use circle-jerk, but that sort of gives the impression that the poor girl and I had been the biscuit (or cookie, or whatever is used in different cultural versions of the Biscuit Game) that was being jerked off on - hell, no. (Eww …)
Needless to say, this dream had all the sexiness and eroticism of a three-day old used tampon.
Anyway, as soon as I became aware of the guys that surrounded us, I stopped the hanky-panky, and looked all around me in amazement. That was when I (mistakenly) thought I was in an orgy. It might’ve been orgiastic, but it wasn’t an orgy. (Then again, what do I know – I’ve never been invited to any.)
The particularly salient and gross part of the dream had been this guy who was intently wanking onto a sausage and then eating the sausage with the sauce that is particularly high in protein. It was a wonder I didn’t wake up there and then to regurgitate what was left of my cheesy dinner.
Then the girl I was with was being pursued by a murderous female wielding a malicious-looking knife. Fortunately for the girl, her pursuer was killed by a lawn-mower just as the knife was a breath away from getting intimate with her (the girl’s) innards.
The death-by-lawn-mower was a little disturbing. The lawn-mower had caught the female by her toes, and then rather rapidly drained the blood from her body. One moment, she was in a healthy tone, the next, she was white; finally, she was so emptied of blood she looked green.
Hoo boy. Freud’s gonna have a field day with this dream …
… I’m not into BDSM. Nu-uh. I’m not at all turned on by it. Hell, no.
(Okay, so maybe there was this one time seeing Tadanobu Asano chained up, with a bare torso, and blissfully getting the shit beaten out of him by Alien – a.k.a. Paulyn – Sun in Koroshiya 1 which made me wish I were been the one beating the shit out of him … but that was it.)
In fact, seeing naked people trussed up like rice dumplings is perturbing to me - so is the Gimp in Pulp Fiction. The most disturbing of all is to see somebody all decked out in bondage accoutrements and wearing the headgear thingy that reveals only the eyes (I don’t know what it’s called, but I’ve always thought it looks like an executioner's mask).
[Confidential to Junoesque: thanks for the awesome link! Those shots are mind-blowing!]
… I’m a quiescent, shy and reserved girl who errs on the prudish side. Really.
I found the wet-shirt and wet-sari bit in ‘Suraj Hua Maddham’ uncomfortable to watch.
I flinched and squirmed like the most sensitive of vampires in direct sunlight when Adrian Pang kissed Madeline Tan at the end of Forever Fever.
I believe parents don’t have sex. Really.
… I don’t particularly like watching porn, but I think it’s fun watching it with people. One of the best experiences I have was watching Madam and Eve (which claimed to be “made for lesbians by lesbians”) during Out Takes 2004.
It was sort of strange, but Jen and I made it a semi ‘special’ night and treated ourselves to a three-course dinner at Stellar’s before the movie. She kept calling it a ‘date’ (and even wore make-up), but I don’t think anybody would ever call going to the theater to watch porn a date. (People who would consider bringing their dates to a porn flick should be avoided like herpes.)
Madam and Eve was hilarious, and the audience was a great bunch of people. There was this particularly long (and I mean looooong) scene that involved cunnilingus, and the chick on the receiving end must’ve been moaning like forever. When she finally climaxed (and you can tell that because the moaning escalated into a sort of pained shriek, like a chicken at slaughter), the audience erupted with applause and catcalls. Totally wild.
Great fun, great experience.
But, um, just for the record, I’m a prude who’s not into BDSM, and who doesn’t particularly like watching porn.
posted by s at 23:28
5 Comments:
It's near dinner time. Was feeling quite hungry until I read about your weird dream. Don't think I will ever be able to look at a sausage the same way again.
watching porn with friends is great cuz, not only can you spare yourself the guilt of watching it a.l.o.n.e, you can also dissect and discuss it. great fodder for after-show snacks.
filming pornography is, apparently, a rather technical procedure.
You have been tagged
hi.. came here thru Patiala's blog.. whats BDSM??
V..
um, virdi - is this a wind-up? you're kidding ... right?
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