Falling Awake

I fell awake this morning. I don't remember having experienced that ever, and it was ... strange - though not unpleasant.

I was in one of Ed House's elevators with two Asian guys. One had brownish-black dreads and the other had tiny braids with colorful plastic beads. We were all going up.

I didn't notice which level button they pressed; I hit '1' - I was going back to my room.

But the elevator didn't stop at my level. I rolled my eyes exaggeratedly and wiped a hand across my face in resignation, accepting the often-wonky elevator's quirks. The elevator continued its way up. I played idly with the large plastic purple stud I wore in my nose.

The elevator stopped and opened its door at level 7; that was where the guys were headed. I was surprised to learn there was a level 7, because these past three years I'd been at Ed House, I'd thought the building only go as high as level 6. The guys stepped out and I stuck my head out curiously for a look.

It wasn't the roof of the building; it was the roof of the universe. I saw the indigo night sky, starless and moonless, and the presence of other elevators. Somehow - the way you're wont to in dreams - I just knew this was something of an intergalatic interchange: an elevator interchange.

The guys told me they were transferring to another elevator which would bring them to another building. I asked them (a little worriedly), "So I just take this elevator back down, right?" They said yeah, and left to board their next elevator. I took my elevator back down. This time, it stopped at level 1.

I stepped out of the elevator thinking about how dark the hallways look (the lights had blown again), and how there wasn't the usual sliver of light coming from under my door welcoming me when I come home after dark. I must have forgotten to switch my doorway light on.

As is my usual routine, I took off my shoes at my studio's 'foyer' (too narrow and small really to be called a foyer). I remember unzipping my boots and was pulling one off ...

And the next thing I remember, I was falling through a dark space. I could feeling myself falling, yet at the same time, I wasn't moving at all, not a single muscle; I was completely still ... and falling.

Consciousness came leisurely. The first thing I was conscious of was my body on my bed, my head on my pillows - being in my sleeping body. My eyes weren't open yet. They were reluctant to open; they felt too heavy, and my body felt lethargic.

When I finally mustered enough energy to open my eyes, I felt like I'd just surfaced from the depths of the deepest pool ... which is sorta strange, since only moments before I'd felt myself falling - a sensory paradox.

I know people fall asleep because I've often been jerked awake by my body, a reaction triggered by the sensation of falling; but I've never once fallen awake. I've only ever fallen from my dreams - and that happens pretty often. I feel like I've fallen from my dream, and - for the first time I recall - into me, or my body - I'm not sure which.

Falling asleep and then falling awake - that's sort of coming full-circle, in an abstract and psychical sense; but it's also linear. It's like diving into an ice-hole at the North Pole and falling to the center of the Earth, then coming out from an ice-hole at the South Pole.

Hm. Put like that, then that would make the core of the Earth dreams; and that would mean what keeps everything and everyone grounded in this world is dreams.

I quite like this thought.

(... and you're never quite the same person nor at quite the same place when you fall awake as when and where you fell asleep ...)