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Glassons Breast Cancer Tee

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Nipples.

Nipples.

N I P P L E S.

Is 'nipples' a dirty word? Is anybody bothered if and when I started talking about nipples? In public? In a normal tone of voice?

How about in a high volume?

Singaporeans seem to have a nipple fixation. They - male and female - would stare if a pair of nipples (but especially a pair belonging to a female) were showing. And we aren't even talking about naked nipples - we're talking about nipples showing because of a combination of factors, such as: a) a low temperature, b) a non-padded brassiere, and/or c) a thin shirt/blouse.

I've never like padded brassieres, so most of mine are quite thin (a few are even of even more lightweight materials than bikinis). During my AD&M days, the air-conditioning in the studios and classrooms was turned down low, and inevitably, my nipples would show. I'd never have noticed (for who would spend time gazing down at her own chest?) if not for Kai's or Andrea's 'warnings'.

"Hey," one of them would say in a hushed tone, "are you cold? Your nipples are showing."

And, you know, if people kept pointing this out to you, you'd start feeling a little self-conscious too.

When I returned from Welly for my summer vacations, I found the Singaporean weather too entirely humid and warm for any sort of underwear at all; but, remembering how people here stare at nipples, I would use nipple tape - every single time I went out (I still do).

And then I found out even nipple tape is, at worst, taboo - or, at least, is an "unmentionable", alongside tampons and other items of (female) personal hygiene - and, at best, for some people here, an unheard of item.

Once Cal and I asked where the nipple tapes are shelved in a store, and the (female) sales assistant gave us a blank look.

"What is it?" she'd asked in Mandarin.

Cal and I stared at each other, maybe thinking the same thing: is the term 'nipple tape' not self-explanatory?

Finally, Cal answered (in Mandarin), "Well, that ..." while making circles with her thumbs and index fingers, and gesticulating towards her chest.

The sales assistant finally understood, so she went to ask another sales assistant, who went to ask yet another sales assistant, who went to ask still yet another sales assistant ... who turned around and asked our original sales assistant. Then the four of them huddled for a hushed conference, and our original sales assistant came to tell Cal and me that they did not have such an item in their store.

Last week, I visited a Watson's Personal Store for nipple tape. Unable to locate what I was looking for, I turned to a (female) sales assistant for help.

"Do you have nipple tape?" I asked.

She looked at me, then edged a little closer, and lowered her voice. "Nipple tape?"

I looked around the store. There were only female sales assistants and female shoppers around. Was she embarrassed? If so, had I embarrassed her, and what was she embarrassed about?

"Yes, nipple tape," I replied.

She asked a younger sales assistant who had no idea if they had such an item in their store, so she went to ask the other two sales assistants behind the counter. After a short (hushed) discussion, one of the ladies behind the counter made eye contact with me, and said, so very softly it seemed she was mouthing the words, "Nipple tape? No."

What else could a girl do but smile, thank them, and leave?

I'm now down to my last two pairs of nipple tape, so yesterday, when the Unholy Trinity convened, I took the boys nipple tape shopping.

We'd spent our entire lunch discussing nipples, nipple tape, nipple warmers, and the average Singaporean woman's cup size (Jason thought it should be an A cup, I argued for a B cup, and Germ thought it didn't matter, so long as he could tell a tea cup from a coffee cup). Jason, being the Unholy Trinity's sole representative of the typical male, came up with many suggestions to replace nipple tape. In fact, he spent the entire day pointing out to things I could use in lieu of nipple tape.

Among his suggestions were: 3M foam tapes because "they are padded - more protection, what", plasters, and his PDA screen protector ("they're a little expensive, but similar to your nipple tapes, what").

Needless to say, I spent the entire day telling him to go fuck himself.

(Now, however, I understand where he was coming from. He is, after all, our sole male heterosexual representative - a diehard '0' on the Kinsey scale.)

At the Watson's in Takashimaya, we found nipple tapes ... in the shape of hearts, lips, (great) balls of fire, butterflies, and cinquefoils (or sexfoils). I was tickled pink by them, but there's no fucking way in hell I'd wear them on my tits.

One of the guys said it would be extremely embarrassing for a guy to ask another guy where the nipple tape is shelved - even more embarrassing than asking a female sales assistant where the condoms are shelved. I wanted to test this theory, but neither of them was willing to cooperate, and of all the sales assistants we saw, none were male.

Damn.

Anyway - nipples: everybody has them, so please don't pretend like you don't and have never seen those little nubs your entire life.

Please fucking stop staring at them, so I won't have to go through the hassle of buying nipple tape.

Please.



(14:35 SGT)