Can't Run, Can't Hide

It's really hard - running away, in Singapore.

In Welly, it was as easy as unplugging my telephone and ignoring my cellphone; people come a-knocking on my door, I pretend I wasn't home.

Even though the people who called or knocked knew I was pretending I didn't exist, they never questioned why I would do what I did; on the contrary, they usually left me be. And when I was ready, I would magically un-become non-existent, and life went on without skipping a beat.

But over here, I found out my friends here don't quite follow the rules.

The day before I was due to meet the boys, I was irritable and didn't want any contact with the world; so when Jason called - he claimed he called seven times - and texted me, I ignored my cellphone.

When I met the boys the next day, Jason refused to believe I just didn't feel like talking was the reason I ignored all his calls and texts and kept pressing me for "the real reason"; he said he was worried about me (but I think he was just trying to guilt-trip me).

I just wanted to pretend I didn't exist - it was as simple as that; "I don't think I'm ready yet / I'm not feeling up to it now / just not that steady yet", so I ran away and hid for awhile until I felt stronger.

Here, I can't not answer when the bell rings, when the telephone rings, and when my cellphone rings, because there will be consequences ... like Jason bugging me, or another smack from Andrea, or something.

Is this island so claustrophobically tiny a girl can't even pretend she's ran away and hidden?

Just makes you wanna run away and hide somewhere you can run and can hide.

For good.