How To Get 'Em And Keep 'Em Hooked On You In 3 Easy Steps

As taught told by a Friend-Who-Shall-Remain-Anonymous (we'll just call her "A"), and demonstrated by No-Name Doggie.

Step 1:
You've spotted the girl/canine of your fancy - go on over and don't be afraid to let your interest show. Jump up on your hind legs, wag your tail furiously, and whine (recommended for dogs); alternatively, get their numbers, then call them, ask them out, be sweetly attentive to them - small but well-chosen pressies won't hurt either - and call them up and talk some more (recommended for girls).

Step 2:
Shower your infatuated attention on the object of your fancy every time you see them (for dogs), as well as when you're apart (for girls). Actually, forget mere showers - bring on the monsoons. Exchange nose rubs, licks and groin sniffs (recommended for dogs - but hey, who says human beings aren't into that?); alternatively - if your physiognomy allows for it - deep, soulful french kisses.

Step 3:
After a couple of nose rubs/licks/groin sniffs/french kisses, the next the you see the object of your fancy, ignore them - make like your interest has waned or has been diverted to another dog/girl.

"A" claimed it worked; then again, we were both fifteen or sixteen when she gave me her secret formula - the dynamics of long (or short) term relationships have since evolved.

On the other hand, the Labrador at number 69 is now hopelessly wrapped around No-Name Doggie's little paw - while she currently works her charisma on a certain more matured blue-eyed black Malamute ...