It's My Party And I'll Die If I Want To

You know, every year around my birthday, I think: this can't possibly get any worse ...

Then WHAM.

Life comes along and snickers, "Ha ha, you sucker!" and proves me wrong.

Again.

And again.

And again.

I'd complained bitterly about it in the past - what with feeling cheated and robbed and all - but this year, I've decided to give it up.

Your birthday? So what, sister? Don't mean shit to the rest of the world, does it? And if it sucks, it's nobody's business but your own. So shut up and move along now - nobody gives a shit about your sorry life.

And if you need a gift idea, here's one: all I want is a scalpel, and a helping hand.

Hey, it's my party and I'll die if I want to - or is that not what Lesley Gore had been singing all this time?