"Open The Door And Let Mummy See"

I hate buying lingerie as much as I love lingerie - because I never find exactly what I want.

The sales assistant who assisted me today measured me (a wonderful procedure, I thought, which has unfortunately not been practised in lingerie shops/departments lately) and downed my bra size and upped my cup size, then brought me three different designs to try.

Now, even though I wanted a half-cup (or strapless) brassiere, I'd also like to be able to breathe freely in one; she, however, thought a half-cup bra worn strapless should be "a little tighter [so it will be] more secure" and the three she brought me threatened to crack my ribs if I breathed in too deeply and too quickly.

While I was trying the three pieces in the changing rooms, I overheard a girl who was having problems with her strapless bras communicate loudly to her mother who was roaming the lingerie department and intermittently hauling her catches to her child.

The girl's sports commentary-styled commentary as she tried on her bras really made my day; and her exchanges with her mummy - oh boy ...

My three favorite bits:

1)
Girl: It fits okay when I'm bending down, but it falls off when I stand straight ...

2)
Girl: ... where's daddy?

Mother: Daddy's sleeping.
[On the display chaise longue opposite a coy lingerie clad mannequin - I saw it with my own eyes.]

3)
Mother: (after Girl's lengthy description of each bra's fit) Open the door and let mummy see.

Girl: Huh?!
[I would've paid to see her face for this one.]

Yeah - open the door and let mummy see, girl!